Learning..

Sometimes I forget to walk slowly. To breathe. To relax my shoulders, and simply remember a four-letter word that shouldn't be so often forgotten: REST. I have not done well with "rest" this year.


This season of life has been an adventure... going "back to college" wasn't the intellectual challenge that it was a few years ago. It was much more of an emotional adventure that would stretch me and grow me as an educator, a counselor and most importantly, a woman. 


This journey held a lot more than what I expected. Helping people learn about themselves has, in turn, made me learn a lot about myself. It was as if I saw myself in every face, and in every voice... Because of this, I've seen what my heart is made of, and how I perceive my role in life. I've identified places in my heart that have needed to heal, and worked on those places. I've found lies that I have believed about myself, and battled those with truth. I've faced fears I didn't think I could conquer, and dared to hope for things I didn't think could come true. I've learned that I can easily lose heart if I don't fight for it... and also learned that I don't have to "have it all together" all of the time. I've seen the desperate need to be myself. I've embraced my desire to learn, be creative, and try new things I didn't think I could do.  I've been challenging myself to step out of my introverted comfort zone and be myself. I've been embracing my quirky loves and letting go of unrealistic expectations... including rejecting perfectionism.


On top of those things, I've also learned that if I don't take care of myself, then no one can benefit from me in this world. This is something that I knew, but I had to learn how to put it into practice. Life is inevitably a battle over my heart... and to lose my heart would be losing the entire story. Without my heart I cannot love or take chances, or dare to trust. Without my heart I can't do the assignment that the Lord has given me to do: to share that freedom. 


And that lesson has been the greatest of all this year: that to live in freedom- to truly live with my entire heart- is the greatest thing that I can ever do. If I don't, it's a tragedy.


So here's to learning. 
To living.
To walking forward, and trusting that the Lord will take care of my heart every step of the way. 


Peter Pan had it right:


"To live would be an awfully big adventure."